Is being pragmatic being a jerk?

Someone has got to do the work.
Someone has to plough through their day, considering that they might not be happy, the way they were.
Someone has to detach themselves from their plight and move on.
It’s not our plight that defines us but the way we see our plight. That makes all the difference.

We can either sit on our ass and moan about the world not being fair and the one thing that we want is the one thing we can’t have it. Or I can look at the side of the world that says we¬†have something good going and we should keep moving forward.

Don’t come at someone who is dealing with their feelings and channelling all that energy to deal with a life that isn’t that bright but there’s a faint smile.
Would you rather someone is not able to deal with their feelings so that you can feel better that your not the only one that is going through a tough time?

In the famous words of Dr. House. “Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re 90, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it! I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass… it’s always ugly – ALWAYS! You can live with dignity; we can’t die with it!” I know this isn’t the ideal choice of words for this blog but, there is a point about being pragmatic about life and being pragmatic about being with someone that is strikingly similar.

My point is, just because someone seems to be doing better while coping, doesn’t mean there is no love anymore. Being pragmatic can be painful but it lets you look at the brighter side, it lets you let out a tear and look at things and continue with your day. It doesn’t mean you’ve thrown the person you care for, in a pile of old chapters. You remember them and look at them and wish them luck. You learn to live with it.

Eventually you have to get on and keep moving forward. Does that make you jerk? Does it?



Watch the road ahead

Late at night, it was pouring rain while I cycled back home. From the main road, I had to make a turn to my house, while no vehicle comes from the opposite direction. I saw this one guy, on the bike who was coming out of the road I had to go into. He waved in my direction and signalled that I can come. I thought to myself, ‘What a nice gesture!’

I cross, and suddenly this car, coming from the same side I was coming, going to the same side I was going, races past me and speeds ahead. “Hey, Asshole!” I yelled. But it was too late. He had driven past and gone too far. It was also raining remember. I yelled, right when I was crossing the guy on the bike who facing the opposite direction.

I keep cycling with my raincoat almost being a hinderance. I hear a bike approaching me. Soon enough the bike guy cuts me off and stops me in the middle of the road, removes his helmet and asks, “what did you say?”

I said, “Hey, that was not for you. I said, Hey Asshole! to the guy who drove past me, almost knocking me over.”

He said “Oh! Really?”

He takes his phone out, makes a call and says, “There’s some dude here calling you an asshole….Yeah. Come back. I’ve got him”

I was taken aback. I kept looking at the guy, preplexed that wondering what are the chances.
The car comes back. The driver gets down from the car and I got the shock of my life.

They were twins…

This story is almost true.



Raise Gentlemen

Dear Son,

You will not abuse power. Your ego is not bound to your manhood. When the time is right, you will have the urge to have sex. It’s something you shouldn’t be ashamed about. But you will not put your pride on the fact that you had sex at a certain point in your life.
Establishing dominance, cat calling and pride in being able to have sex when the other person isn’t ready or has said has nothing to do with you being a man. Understand chivalry. Understand that the more you believe in the fact that having sex or losing your virginity has nothing to do with your dignity.

You will not put your ego, on the line. Firstly, try not to have an ego. But if I mess up as a parent and you end up having an ego, keep it to yourself. Don’t take it out and whip it around. There is no mid way to being a gentleman. I’ll repeat that, son.
There is no mid way to being a gentleman. You will honour the fact that the girl you are with has said no and not take that for granted.

Don’t do it, son. Don’t listen to the voice of ego and assume that it’s only fair because you feel entitled. You are not entitled to anything. I hope this is the second and last line that I have to repeat. You are not entitled to anything!
Man up, walk away and let me not hear about even one incident of any violence of personal space, both physical and mental.

You’ll fall while learning about life and your self-confidence should probably be there throughout your life. But don’t prove it, you don’t have to show anyone that you are able to. Believe in yourself. Don’t be pathetic.

Now before I go on ranting about the incidents that triggered this letter, I better stop. I’m sure you’ll have tools to find out about it. So one last time… You are not entitled to anything. You believe in yourself and don’t have your ego on the line at any point. Be a gentleman. If I’m going to be drinking when you read this, let’s have some alcohol, else a cup of chai for me and let’s talk…


On the bright side…

It’s been a year of stupidity, mistakes, and some wonderful experiences.
Of meeting new people, learning so much.
Of watching wonderful movies, discovering masterful artists.
Of laughing at the younger version of me who was such a doofus.

It’s been a year of all this….

Hosting a Game Show where I played Dumb Charades and Pictionary with contestants. Thank you to Beam It Live team with which I had such a good time for 6 months. I made some dumb mistakes. I learnt so much about being presentable and about having fun on camera. That sounds so rehearsed. Even calling that sounds a little rehearsed.
Started the year in Goa, where I performed at a wedding for the first time.
Performing on a bus, on the way to Coorg for a few doctors Thanks to Vibrant Holiday Destinations. It was one the weirdest, yet rewarding experiences I’ve had.
Performing at a venue where I get picked up and thrown off stage by a drunk heckler. (I was startled.)
Joining and working with Improv Comedy Bangalore and experiencing being there without any net supporting improvisers on stage learning how to try to be honest and not trying to be funny.
Performing in a Comedy Club where, people come and watch Stand Up in Mumbai.
Performing for 400 people in Mumbai, twice in the same night, Thanks to Kenny Sebastian.
Performing in a Comedy Festival in another city, where the comics are a very close-knit group.
Travelling to Goa for Improv and spending time on the beach with the team.
This year the number of people trying comedy has gone up by a huge number in Bangalore. Performing in various venues in Bangalore and other cities is something I’m thankful for and am looking forward to as well.
All in all a year with so many wonderful moments.
Even though there have been differences, and we having to lose so many great artists in the world, 2016, you’ve been fairly kind and generous to me.
Thank you and Here’s celebrating the last day of the year.

PS:- There are more than the five thumbnails of movies and comics and books that I watched and enjoyed, presently those are the ones that came to my mind. Tig Notaro, Whiplash, La La Land, Buster Keaton and Animal Farm


Happy New Year Folks!

What was the first question that was ever asked in the English Language?

How to attempt to grab the attention of as many minds as you possibly can?
When’s the last time you saw a gentleman?
What would you say to someone if they offered to dance along with you?
Why isn’t there more mindless walking in the city?
Who would you call at 5 in the morning to have a cup of chai and talk your heart out?

How to try and sustain attention, without letting more people leave than there are, still reading?
When do you realise that the person you’re sitting and talking to isn’t going to be the one?
What can you tell yourself about that person that makes them someone special, but not special enough?
Why do we find out that the person is not the one, only after it’s a tad bit too late?
Who do you call and confide in when you break the code?

How to keep people wondering what these questions are about?
When did this become a series of questions that intend to break the fourth wall?
What can you possibly be thinking about that can successfully take this forward?
Why can’t I sleep at night without having questions bother me?
Who can you point out to have no secrets at all?

How to put an end to all of this?
When is the right time to make your own decisions?
What can you tell about your life that’s worth sharing?
Why can’t I have more time with you?
Who am I and what I doing reading this.

Answer any three of these questions and write them to me, or talk to me about anything that you’d want to talk about.
We can then all decide that chai is the intermediary solution to all our problems.

“And we are ready for Take Off” – Alarm

I woke up in an empty hall that has two huge windows facing the rear end of the HAL Airport.

I mentioned rear end because all the fighter jets and flights would take off and would go in the opposite direction.
I would wake up at 3 in the afternoon, go for lunch and come back in time to have tea.
Sitting on a chair at the balcony of the 2nd floor, looking out into the airport while the sun sets, while there’s rain pouring down or all through the night has been one of the most relaxing experiences.
I remember, ours was the top most floor in the building. I had access to the terrace. Standing at the terrace felt good too.
I had only an i pod with me that had the most popular songs of that time that I would listen to while looking out into this vast land.

Sometimes I would be forced to wake up at ten in the morning, after a night shift that got over just three hours ago, because of a flight that’s about to take off. It would wake me up with so much velocity that I would the first memory of waking up being having my ears ringing and wondering where was I. The take off of a fighter jet was my alarm.

I remember celebrating the 2011 World Cup that India brought back after 28 years, in that house and it felt like we were all celebrating in unison.

I miss that house. I have some amazing memories in that house. We used to play cricket indoors with a smiley ball. I had access to the company swimming pool and table tennis court.

Now that I think of it, it feels like it hasn’t been too long ago.

I went back to sleep.

Being Goofy! Anonymously.

Dear Shunky,

This is your inner voice, or maybe it’s just you and you’re trying to make this sound like a deeper conversation than it is. Nonetheless, here are few lessons on my mind today.

Being goofy and stupid can’t ever be not on the table.
If there’s a point where you’re not goofy, you should look forward to the next time you get to be goofy.
So don’t ever stop being stupid. Forget the facts and remember the feelings.
There’s value to be taken in Anonymity.
Being not famous for doing something. I don’t find it particularly but there is value to it.
There’s also a certain drive in Naivety.
Not knowing how good you are, or just how bad you are can sometimes keep you going as long as you want to put yesterday’s work to shame.
There’s the thing! You know, the thing. Writing, playing a sport, a long drive and then there’s the idea of that thing.
What’s it like to write? What’s it like to be a writer?

Deep down, doing that one thing means everything.
Not being known for doing that one thing.
Just doing that one thing.
Fame, is enjoyable, is lucrative and is always desired but not the objective of doing that thing.
Maybe only once you reach being truly famous can you say this line.
Like they say, Money isn’t everything but you need to make enough to be able to say it.

Now stop conning people reading this, that the inner voice told you to write this. You’ve already used a wallpaper to conning them to coming on to this page.

This is you.
Plain stupid you.
So get some sleep you freak!