It could have been worse…


1000697_10151687303124334_1057061257_nI used to teach dance to kids during after-hours in college. It used to get late. Sometimes, the last bus would leave without me. I had hitch a ride back home or walk for 5 km. I chose to ask for a lift most of the times. I had just danced for 4 hours. I was starting to lose weight.

This one time, a middle age man stopped to help me. I got on his bike and we started talking. Over the next few minutes I gathered he is a relative of close friend of my Dad. I began to talk for the rest of the ride. By the time we reached the place where I live he knew that I had to take a bus the next morning, to which he added that he is also travelling to my home town and the fact that my brother and my cousin who live with me were not in town.

He offered to drop me to the bus stop the next morning. I had my bag packed that I would take and go home. We had dinner and I thanked him for being nice. After a hearty meal we went to his place. He in fact shared a few stories of Dad and his cousin.

He wished me Good Night and went to bed. I was reading a book and soon enough I dozed off to bed too. A while later I felt his moustache against my cheek. I couldn’t move. I froze. I couldn’t believe how stupid I had got to have trusted a stranger. He began to move his leg over me and whispered, I’ve had a few drinks and I’m sorry. I should have made a move but I only remember being very scared. He went on. He went down on me and it reached a point where I had to snap and get up. I remember thinking, I can’t get up beyond this point. It’s now or never. I did. Before he could say anything I remember rushing to the bathroom. I cried. I cried, a lot. I was abusing myself for being naive.

I saw his toothbrush and began scrapping his toilet with it. I kept it back. I gathered courage, stepped out the bathroom and said, “You stay away from me.”
I picked my bag and ran. I reached the main road and I sat down and I cried again. Did I just get molested? Was I stupid enough to not stop it? Did I mention that he kissed me? I felt like I couldn’t go any lower.

I told my parents. I was afraid to tell my brother. I couldn’t tell my brother because I felt most stupid in front of him.
My parents told my brother. He walked up to me, asked me for this person’s house and marched right in with me and my cousin, Sujay. At this point I must add Sujay is over 6 feet tall and me and brother stand at 5′ 5″.
He began hitting this man. It didn’t occur to me until later that I could have been in condition that was far worse than I was in. I felt glad that my brother stood up and kept hitting this man. This middle aged man who was apologising. I could only feel disgust.
That day my brother was taller than my cousin.
I guess all I’m trying to say is, I was naive and I wished I was more careful in trusting someone but more importantly and Thank you Tarun Chugani for making it easy for me to not let this episode become a big part of my life.

(PS :- Sujay Mehbubani, the other guy also kicked his ass)



Questions in mind about Sex

What is the right age to lose your virginity?
Does fate have a hand in deciding when it happens?
Is sex only for reproduction?
Why do condoms exist if sex is only for reproduction?
How many orgasms have you had and how many children do you have?
How early is too early for sex?
How do you talk to your parents about sex without making it awkward and causing harm to the family name?
If you refrain from indulging in sexual activity, why do you get wet dreams?
If having sex before marriage is a crime, shouldn’t that be a crime even after divorce?
If you marry 3 times in one lifetime and have sex with three different people, is that all right?
Do your grand parents have a story of getting married in their teens as well?
Why didn’t our parents get married during their teenage?
Why don’t they use the term, ‘the couple’ is pregnant?
Doesn’t an act of getting pregnant require two people?
Why do we hit puberty at our teens and not get married as soon as we hit puberty?
Why isn’t a man’s virginity ever questioned?
Should you consider getting married so that you can constantly have sex?
Is there a hormonal effect if you curb your desire to have sex?
Was it just me or at teenage, you get a hard on randomly and it was embarrassing?
How do you make a hard on disappear, until you’re married because sex before marriage should be unheard of?
If it isn’t healthy, why are you looked down upon if you’re seen having a hard on?
Did you know about wet dreams?
Did you know about ejaculation?
For people who don’t sleep facing upwards, does it harm your health to get wet dreams?
How do you stop from getting wet dreams, without engaging in sexual activity or masturbating?
Do you know anyone who has managed to do it?
Is it okay to expect a virgin bride when the man’s not a virgin?
Is it okay to not ejaculate?
Did I read somewhere that it might cause prostate cancer?
Should you work hard and get married in your early twenties just so you save yourself from Prostate Cancer?
If you are not in the mind set to get married, then aren’t you getting married at the wrong time of your life?
If you are not ready, and I’m not talking about procrastination, to bring a child into this world and you do, are’t you making a messed up child for the future generation?
Who decides what is the right mind frame of marriage?
Why should you not settle down with a life partner at the age of 18 like Grandpa did? (umm I did not mean that joke)
What is erectile dysfunction?
Did people masturbate 3000 years before?
Does biology of human body depend on the faith that we follow?
Is it possible to train your endocrine system that is made up of glands and hormones to not disturb you with sexual desires?
Is there such a thing called, sexual frustration?
If you keep getting sexually frustrated and neglect it then aren’t you getting just more sexually frustrated?
What do you know about Hysteria?
Aren’t individuals different from one another and have different patterns?
Does that mean some people have been ejaculating from their early teens?
Am I asking too many questions?
Are you ashamed?
Are you mad at me?
Do you regret knowing that my mind has these questions about Sex?


Hey! How about that coffee?

I want to hang out with you. For you. I’m not with you only for the date, for the make up.
I want you to sit beside me in shorts and a t-shirt, as comfortable as you can get and talk about the things you care about.
The small things in life that you’re passionate about. I want to listen to your stories and hold your hand while you tell me your nightmares. I want to be that rock.

I promise, I’ll stop myself from trying to be funny and make you laugh while you open your heart out and I’ll listen to why you feel the way you do. Once you’re done, I promise to try and make you smile. I know the laugh will be just around the corner.

Don’t get me wrong. I want to see you when you walk out of your house in high heels and a black dress and make up on too, but that’s not the only way I wish to see you. Not just for that. I shouldn’t be with you for that. It’s not fair. There’s more than that.

Over time, I’m going to make mistakes, you’re going to make them too. I’d argue with you over what you did or what I did. But with each fight, the cup of coffee that we have after will make it worth the fight. I think so.

It should be okay to cry, if I don’t do it all the time. I’ve cried while watching movies. I could talk to you during the times that I don’t feel strong, the times I could use a friend. I could rant about anything and know that I’m not being judged.

Isn’t that what it comes down to? Being yourself and knowing that you’re not judged, you’re not mocked and you can be comfortable in your skin with me.

Being comfortable in your skin is something that’s come very hard to me. I was never comfortable. I used to go out of my way to try to look cooler, taller and smarter so I can fit in the picture.

I realized the hard way that there is no picture. You don’t have to fit in. You can be who you are and it’s okay to be that way.

I guess what I’m trying to tell you is, I remember you when I listen to a love song. I think of a joke and I want to tell that to you and make you laugh. I am a poor guy at heart and I will always be happy being that way. Don’t change for me, don’t expect me to change for you. Things will work out if we find it in us to always end up with that coffee. I know it’s easier said than done, however if we end up together, I promise I’ll be present with you.
After a tiring day, I will try and muster up the attention that you deserve from me.

I’ll be taken aback when I look at your pretty face, but I’ll enjoy the moments even more when I see the real girl in you.

Also, I make some pretty good coffee.

– Something I’ve always wanted to tell you

If I were a nursery rhyme writer…

Jonny Jonny
Jonny Jonny,
Leave me alone dad, I’m busy
Want some Sugar.
I said leave me alone, I’m busy Dad.
Telling lies?
Open your Mouth
Yes Father!

Twinkle Twinkle
Twinkle Twinkle Little star,
Why in God’s name are you so far?
Up above the sky so high,
I might meet God after I die,
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
I’ll ask God what’s up mere yaar.
Up above the sky so high.
Actually I’m an atheist, hey Wait a minute!

I Love Chocolates
I’d like to eat some chocolate,
I’d like to eat it now…
I’ll go out and play for an hour
So dad can blow you up like a cow…

Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To spend some time together…
Jack brought Cindy and Jill brought Tammy
All four walked in awesome weather…
The weather was so awesome that you’d sleep all day,
you’d never do anything stupid.
Jack and Tammy played Fifa all day.
Jill and Cindy said “We never got to do it.”
They went shopping and they got a toy,
It was something that made them jump for joy.
They’d play together, all night long.
Jill and Cindy really started getting along.
And then next day they called the guys and said “Hey! It’s our turn!”
They beat Jack and Tammy in Fifa Bro.
Epic Burrrn!